I have a feeling it’s going to be a very tough winter in the center of the universe. With the Maple Leafs mediocre on-ice performance it is getting harder for websites, newspapers and electronic media to get the Toronto Maple Leafs onto the front page and top of the sportscasts.
Oh sure, they’re trying (“second team in Toronto?” and “Wilson’s goalie switch crazy!”) but let’s face it by Christmas the editors and show hosts are going to be running things like “Great Leafs of the Past who are still Alive!” and “Teeder Kennedy’s grandson says Leafs need quicker boots!”
Since we have some clever people who visit this site and offer ideas, I thought we could do a public service for all Canadians and come up with subject matter for the Toronto collective. Since it’s apparently vital the whole damn country reads this stuff we might as well have some input into what crap we’re going to read this winter on tsn and sportsnet and the national fishwrap.
First, I think they should go into the archives and find cool photos. Like the one in this post. You could print this photo in a newspaper and ask “what happened to the pinky finger on Red Kelly’s right hand?” or “How many know what that Silver thing is?”
A few other suggestions:
- Make a big deal about the Leafs planning to push the NHL in an effort to get the two guys from the 1967 Cup team who aren’t in the Hall of Fame yet inducted as soon as possible. Call it a national nightmare and perhaps show a homeless member of the team (I nominate Autry Erickson although I think he had a good life after hockey).
- A 12-part series that exposes exactly how boring Ken Dryden is in all manner of life, featuring people he works with every day who have contemplated offing themselves during his monologues.
- The Leafs could hold “hockey school” drills between periods, where kids in the crowd get to come onto the ice and have the visiting team coach show them the fundamentals of the game. The Leafs could also have some of their players out there learning right alongside the children of Toronto.
- The Leafs could also hold a “piss off Ron Wilson with dumb, stupid questions he has to answer” night that features the coach answering questions and getting more and more irritated at the end of each period. Perhaps he could come out at the end of the game and strangle something.
Please add your ideas as soon as possible. If they tun out of material, they may bring Bob Cole back for the early HNIC game. Talk about your national nightmare.