Stan Weir doesn’t believe in Calgary. If Stan Weir wants your opinion, he’ll beat it into you. Stan Weir lost his virginity before his Dad did. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Stan Weir allows to live.
There is no chin under Stan Weirs’ Beard. There is only another fist. Stan Weir has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Stan Weir. Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Stan Weir.
Stan Weir makes onions cry. Stan Weir once challenged Lance Armstrong to a “Who has more testicles?” contest. Stan Weir won by 5.
Stan Weir is capable of photosynthesis. Stan Weir understands the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey. When Stan Weir picks his nose, he really DOES find Gold. Stan Weir let the dogs out.
Stan Weir puts the laughter in manslaughter.
Stan Weir will bring us money, fame and women of questionable reputation.Ladies and gentlemen, Stan Weir!