Happy Father’s Day!

For many years now, whenever my kids say “Dad, what would you like for Father’s Day?” the voice inside my head says “Diane Lane!” but the truth is I’m a pretty lucky guy every day. I have a beautiful wife who loves me, two terrific kids and a great job with an excellent company. Plus, there’s beer!

My daughter tells me every year what I’m getting for Father’s Day. Sometimes she tries not to, sometimes it is our little secret, but I don’t remember the last time this day arrived without me knowing (today, I get a new set of headphones to replace the ones she broke a few months ago. They’ll be her “backup” pair and it’s likely we’ll be in the exact same spot a year from now but I don’t care) exactly what is going on.

Our family has had some hard knocks this year. My wife’s best friend (who was also a dear friend of mine) passed away right around Christmas, and my longtime friend Lorne Starko died recently.

As some of you may know, my Mom passed away a week ago and the funeral was Thursday. It was a really tough day, filled with all kinds of emotions. It’s still too fresh in my experience to talk about, but one event during the day of her funeral tells you all you need to know about my experience as a Father and why I’m so happy to have this family.

We’re leaving the funeral home, and it’s a sad group in the car. My wife and me, her sister and the two kids driving home in a daze. I have the air conditioner on because it’s very warm outside and it is extremely hot in the car. My son opens his window, which is verboten in the Lowetide SUV. I say “Son, what are you doing?” and he (and this is new, ordinarily he would have blurted it out) says “um, just taking care of something, Dad.”

I don’t recognize the moment at all and push him. “Son, what are you doing?” I say in the Dad tone that lets him know I mean business.

“Well, fine. If you must know I had a giant piece of snot in my nose all during the funeral and I picked it and threw it out the window. Happy now?” Riotous laughter on a day filled with tears. And that’s one more reason I wouldn’t trade this bunch for anything, not even Diane Lane.

Happy Father’s Day, gentlemen.

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43 Responses to "Happy Father’s Day!"

  1. Black Dog says:

    Happy Father's Day pal.

  2. Lowetide says:

    Right back at you. Glad to see Brian's doing fine (and great photo btw–a classic Father's Day snapshot).

  3. Black Dog says:

    Oh, Diane says hi, btw. Talk soon, we're going back to bed.

  4. Lowetide says:

    You're kidding! She didn't leave here more than an hour ago. Diane Lane must have Santa's route on Father's Day.

  5. Black Dog says:

    No wonder she was out of breath.

    Truth be told I wasn't expecting her. Hope she doesn't look in the closet. Kate Winslet and Natalie Portman are hiding in there.

    My God I'm exhausted.

  6. Lowetide says:

    Same here! When Jessica Alba arrived and Anna Friel's limo was in the driveway I thought there'd be trouble, but they new each other and are terribly sophisticated so it's all good.

  7. Black Dog says:

    Ahh, great minds, great minds.

    Interesting how the two guys with all of the kids are up and at em while all the young punks are still abed.

    Can't say I blame them.

    The punks.

    I expected Bruce to be here but he probably is preparing for brunch with Zach S.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Happy Father's Day Lowetide. As an Oiler fan here in Tennesse I must say that I truly enjoy reading your blog every day. I look forward to it every day.

    Jeff in TN

  9. Lowetide says:

    lol. Poor Bruce.

    Jeff: Tennessee? Wow. That's a distance from EDM. Why are you an Oilers fan? Up here there are lots of Titans fans, mostly because of the Warren Moon connection to that franchise.

  10. mc79hockey says:

    Interesting how the two guys with all of the kids are up and at em while all the young punks are still abed.

    I'm up, laundry's in and I'm already working. I'm pretty proud of myself, you smug bastard.

  11. Lowetide says:

    Tyler: Yeah, but it's lawyerly work. Do you work at Facmee and Diaz:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BZi2r_it3U&feature=fvw

  12. Black Dog says:

    pffft, three kids under six dressed and fed by 7:30 while the wife gets a sleep in

    now that's impressive

    laundry?

    I say Good Day, sir!

  13. Psyche says:

    Happy Father's Day gents! I am one of the odd one's without kids and I still get up early in the a.m.

    I am still uncomfortable about the potential acquisition of Heatley. The price is sounding too high assuming Murray has few partners willing to dance.

  14. Mike says:

    My two ruffians (4, 18 mos) woke me with breakfast in bed – think maybe mommy had something to do with it. Life is good. Happy Fathers Day all.

    LT I knew she was sick but did not hear that she passed. My sincere condolences.

  15. HBomb says:

    Happy Father's Day gents.
    I am up early, despite being (surprise) hung-over. And this one is a doozy.

    Bryan Mudryk Golf Classic for the Cross Cancer institute. Hit the hard stuff at 10am yesterday and did not stop until 1:30am. Met two of Kevin Martin's teammates (Morris and Hebert both are awesome), as well as Miss Canada (she is a Ukie girl too – no surprise there). What a day that was.

  16. Darren says:

    Man, I don't know how you do it. My wife is always up before me, no matter what. On weekends I usually have my son yelling daddy in my ear to wake me up. Happy Father's day to all that it applies to!

  17. Coach pb9617 says:

    Happy Father's day all.

    I was awoken to a knock-down drag out between the wife and kids, all three arguing their own side, like a family royal rumble. I, tactfully of course, made the suggestion that mom was right and the next person to speak, including mom, was sentenced to eating brussel sprouts. I won.

    Ahhhh fatherhood.

  18. HBomb says:

    Coach: brussels sprouts are delicious. Especially soaked in turkey gravy.

  19. Deano says:

    Happy Father's Day All!

    May all who frequent this corner of the net never need a lwyer (sorry mudcrutch.)

    HBomb:
    Turkey gravy is so good it makes brussel sprouts edible. (Kinda like the comment from the end of the Cup final that Lidstrom is so good that he had people talking about Osgood in the HHOF – kudos and apologies to the forgotten author)

  20. HBomb says:

    HBomb's Four rules for improving food items:

    Add gravy.
    Add cheese.
    Add bacon.
    Add chocolate.

    Note that rule four should only be applied to dessert items.

  21. Mr DeBakey says:

    Or girlfriends

  22. Coach pb9617 says:

    Coach: brussels sprouts are delicious. Especially soaked in turkey gravy

    I'm the only one in the family that will eat them.

    I make a foil pouch, put in two pats of butter, crushed fresh garlic, salt, fresh cracked pepper and grill on the top rack.

    Either than or steam them and make a honey mustard sauce for them.

  23. HBomb says:

    Coach: sounds delicious. How long does that take to cook?

    And I wonder if similar prep would work for asparagus..

  24. uni says:

    LT: I was very sorry to read about your loss. I tried to send you and your family my condolences earlier, but blogger was being difficult. I hope you and your own are doing well and you have my best wishes; although it seems that you have the best wishes of all of the people here in this little community that you've fostered =).

    Also happy Father's Day to all it applies to out there. I wish I had dads like you guys when I was a little tyke, although I'm not sure I could afford to lose more time to sports analogies and statistics than I already devote.

    I grew up on vegetables and steamed rice with meat as a garnish. Brussel sprouts are very good, people only dislike them when they aren't cooked properly, usually overcooked or sometimes undercooked which leaves them bitter-ish.

    They're fine on their own lightly sautéed with in butter with some salt and black pepper. Done right they are tender and delicious somewhat reminiscent of asparagus. Turkey, beef, or pork gravy does enhance their natural flavour though =).

    Hbomb: your list is awesome. I knew a guy whose parents owned a supermarket store. He would get a package of sausages, wrap them in a pack of bacon strips then microwave them. He'd then separately microwave a package of cheddar cheese till melted as "cheese soup" and mix in the grease run off from earlier, and then dip his sausage/bacon wraps in the "soup" as he ate it with a spoon. He considered this an afternoon snack. Not surprisingly he weighed about 260lbs at the ripe age of 13. Oh, afterwards he would 'wash' it down by sitting in front of the TV with one of those 4 litre tubs of lite chocolate ice-cream (he would usually polish off a litre or two). I tried to explain to him that in such quantities the lite meant very little =).

  25. Coach pb9617 says:

    HB – I also forgot to mention a touch of white wine in the pouch.

    It usually takes about 20 minutes on the top rack if you're grilling on medium heat.

  26. HBomb says:

    Coach: cookin with booze? Now we are in my wheelhouse!

    And as for bad ideas – The Gripper at Tubby Dog in Calgary.

  27. Coach pb9617 says:

    HB: Bourbon honey mustard sauce:

    1/4 cup yellow mustard
    1/4 cup brown mustard
    1/2 cup honey
    1/4 cup brown sugar
    1/4 cup pineapple juice
    1/4 cup bourbon

    whisk it together, put it on the stove and reduce on low heat until it thickens, stir occasionally.

  28. Bar Qu says:

    Once again this place proves it is the best in the 'sphere.

    Father's day wishes followed by brussel sprout grilling recipes. Beautiful.

    I will be trying that recipe coach, 'cause I have a little guy who has to be bribed with veggies to eat his meats.

  29. gmc79 says:

    Happy Fathers Day Lowtide !!

    I lost my Dad on Christmas 05 and there is not one day I don't think of him but this day still brings a smile to my face.

  30. Jfry says:

    @Hbomb :: the gripper is too much!

    happy father's day all.

  31. Dennis says:

    I'm getting too old to be considered a punk but I'm still too young to realize it;)

    I was up until 330am watching old Star Trek reruns and then I slept until 1130am and then went to the gym.

    One last final note: I would request that Ms.Lane leave on those shoes!

  32. Showerhead says:

    entire back-and-forth between BD and LT

    -Too funny! Great way to start the day.

    Mr. Debakey: "Or girlfriends"

    -Can't believe no one else commented yet, this was a great laugh and very true.

    Interesting how the two guys with all of the kids are up and at em while all the young punks are still abed.

    Don't blame me, SHE woke me up the best way a man can be woken up.

    =) (I figure I should be smug about this while I can – if/when I ever have kids, I hear I can kiss this sort of treatment a sweet goodbye.)

    Dennis: One last final note: I would request that Ms.Lane leave on those shoes!

    Seconded. And bless them, the never say no.

  33. Showerhead says:

    And of course, a sincere happy father's day to all of the dads in the crowd. Thanks for all of the years spent driving us to hockey and putting up with our shit.

    -The young punks.

  34. Coach pb9617 says:

    By the way, LT, that's the best pic on this blog since Katharine Ross.

  35. Julian says:

    LT, very sorry to hear about your mom, my condolences.

    Thanks for keeping us all up to date on the oilers, no matter where we might be in the world. And a big happy fathers day to you…

  36. Bruce says:

    I expected Bruce to be here but he probably is preparing for brunch with Zach S.

    lol. Poor Bruce.

    Poor Bruce is on his seventh day with strep, third on penicillin and finally able to swallow without pain. Not a pleasant week.

    As for my man Zorg, I'd love to have brunch with him sometime, he seems like a cool dude. He finally seems to be winning the hearts and minds of the Oilogosphere, judging by the way he has been written in to the starting 12 of virtually everybody's idealized roster. Everybody else on the roster has been traded multiple times if not buried in the minors, have caused cap headaches, been redundant to a role, etc. Zack, not so much.

    Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there, and to your dads. I am remembering mine with great fondness and zero regrets.

  37. Dennis says:

    Not sure if this is the place for it but why haven't we ever discussed the whole deal where when you first start going out with a ladyfriend, the sex is so plentiful and adventurous that you even lose a bit of touch with your friends while you soak it all up.

    then, later on, it dries up and you drink and stray to the point where you wind up in some basement apartment listening to local radio for the first time in years.

    Or maybe that was just me:)

    In any case, I was reminded of this by young Showerhead's post:)

  38. Bruce says:

    GMC79: Got to be careful not to confuse you with MC79. I've been enjoying your comments, but must have missed your introductory post. Are you named after the GMC Line of 1979? (For the young 'uns, that would be Gretzky-MacDonald-Callighen)

    Hope so, cuz we need a few more old farts around here. Eh, LT?

  39. Deano says:

    I am reminded of a cartoon a bride and groom at the alter.

    He's thinking: Say 'I do." and all the BJ's I want forever.

    She's thinking Say 'I do.' and no more BJ's.

  40. Anonymous says:

    I have been an Oiler fan since watching the Oil lose in the Finals to the Isles. Have never made it to Rexall(I will always consider it Northlands though) but hope to someday. I figure I'm only 40 so I still have time :)

  41. Councilman Les Winan says:

    Happy Father's Day, all!

  42. HBomb says:

    If anyone cares to know what "The Gripper" is, well, here's the menu from Tubby Dog.

    I think the name Gripper comes from the white-knuckled side-grab one has one the toilet seat about six hours after eating the thing.

  43. Bruce says:

    What an awful way to end a good thread. I prefer to think of The Gripper and Diane Lane in the same fantasy.

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